In Praise of Lazy Parenting by Brett Paesel

I am a fan of Brett Paesel’s witty insights… and frankly, who wouldn’t love a woman who writes a book called Mommies Who Drink?! Here is a little sample of her writing. Look for the article in the March issue of Wondertime Magazine:


It’s still dark when my seven-year-old son wakes me, “Mom. The tooth fairy didn’t bring my dollar.” I roll over slowly to face him. I’m buying time — willing my brain synapses to fire away so I can come up with a crafty excuse as to why the tooth fairy would have neglected to replace his tooth with a dollar. For the third time.

“Hold on,” I say, “maybe you’re just not looking well enough.” My bones creek as I stand. “Let me get my glasses.” I trudge over to my desk while Spencer bounces around me. As I reach for my glasses, I open the drawer with my other hand to retrieve a dollar. I palm it as I turn to put on my glasses, “Let’s go look.”

It’s easy to slip the dollar under Spencer’s pillow while I pretend to look. It’s so easy, that I wonder why I didn’t think of it the last two times – when I suggested that maybe the tooth fairy was out sick or on vacation.

When I tell a friend about it later, she says, “Wow. I do this whole routine of sprinkling glitter near the bed, and writing a note in silver ink with a fairy-sized font.”

Why do these things never occur to me? So many moms I know knock themselves out. One impossibly industrious mom personalizes each cupcake in icing for her daughter’s birthday party at Kindergarten. Last year, I forgot to make cupcakes for Spencer’s school birthday celebration until that very morning. I had to resort to snagging two plastic containers of mini-blueberry muffins at a 7-11. When I placed the containers on the teacher’s desk and popped them open, a little girl yelled, “Those aren’t cupcakes!” – for which her clothespin got moved down a notch on her behavior chart. I felt a bit guilty about the demerit since she was only stating the obvious, but it’s an unfair world out there. Maybe she’s better off learning that sooner than later.

Brett Paesel is the author of Mommies Who Drink, Sex, Drugs, and Other Distant Memories of an Ordinary Mom (mommieswhodrink.net).

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